Well, they removed Bill's gallbladder yesterday; looks like that was the primary source of his infection in the heart and defibrillator so he was transferred out of the hospital into a rehab facility for the next 6 weeks for constant antibiotics and breathing sessions. At the end of that period if the infection has cleared enough then they will go ahead with the surgery to remove his defib and replace it with a pacemaker. At least that is the latest.
I lasted my 2 hours at work. Today they agreed to keep me on the 2 hours shifts which was a huge relief as I had heard the store never allows 2 hour shifts. It helped that I am on permanent disability with the hand injury that occurred there, kind of gave me leverage.
Sciatic Nerve. Two very nasty words. I would go through everything twice that I have this year to not have this. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. The pain just does not stop whether you are sitting or standing and you have to lie down just so to ease the pinch. There, I've complained and feel a tad better. I've gotten much better over the past few weeks I just have to remember my lifestyle has to change a bit and what to avoid. It is good that someone has gone on before you when these things happen so they have recommendations and treatments for you.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The Sense
Melanie is getting used to this. I don't know what to call it; perhaps it has no name. For many, many years I've had the unusual experience of knowing when something very bad is about to happen to someone I know. I don't often know who it will happen to, but certain it is about to occur. It is a consuming heaviness in my heart, the sense of impending doom, the knowledge that tragedy or great sorrow is quickening. I find it hard to concentrate as my mind is dissecting everything occurring with everyone I know, quietly, but waiting, always fearful it will be one of my family or dear friends. I am not even sure when these feeling first came to me, at least 30 years ago or more.
Of course in writing this, it is looking back so I don't blame the skeptics. It was about 3 weeks ago I mentioned casually to Melanie that I was having one of those feelings of doom and loss. We both dismissed it... verbally, but mentally I knew the sensation and it is wrong a small percentage of the time.
A couple of weeks later, Bill had his severe breathing episode and fever and was rushed to the hospital where he remains until his surgery on Tuesday. (We are all praying feverishly it will go well and the infection surrounding the defibrillator will clear along with the infection in his heart enough for a safe implant of a pacemaker in 6 weeks.. 6 weeks with nothing to keep his heart beating as it should),but as lest he'll be in a facility that has folks who can take care of him in case of crisis.
Then last night a neighbor of 30+ years was sent home after 2 frightening weeks in ICU for a heart attack, but safe, successful implant of a pacemaker. He was happy and planning a trip they'd had to postpone due to the heart attack. Family all came over last night and rejoiced in the success and his quick, strong recovery and loved and hugged him with much gratitude. For whatever reason, this morning he passed away at home.
Yesterday, a close and sweet client of our for several years lost her father who we also had worked with and Dan sat with a number of times as this once brilliant, giving man would talk nonsense and make quizzical comments with laughter and Dan would laugh with him as if it all was well. A good man who loved his daughter, Tami, with his whole heart and adored her. She is lost in grief.
Please, dear Lord, let this three be the last for a long time. So much comfort is needed and as my sense of doom has lifted I beg for a lengthy reprieve.
Of course in writing this, it is looking back so I don't blame the skeptics. It was about 3 weeks ago I mentioned casually to Melanie that I was having one of those feelings of doom and loss. We both dismissed it... verbally, but mentally I knew the sensation and it is wrong a small percentage of the time.
A couple of weeks later, Bill had his severe breathing episode and fever and was rushed to the hospital where he remains until his surgery on Tuesday. (We are all praying feverishly it will go well and the infection surrounding the defibrillator will clear along with the infection in his heart enough for a safe implant of a pacemaker in 6 weeks.. 6 weeks with nothing to keep his heart beating as it should),but as lest he'll be in a facility that has folks who can take care of him in case of crisis.
Then last night a neighbor of 30+ years was sent home after 2 frightening weeks in ICU for a heart attack, but safe, successful implant of a pacemaker. He was happy and planning a trip they'd had to postpone due to the heart attack. Family all came over last night and rejoiced in the success and his quick, strong recovery and loved and hugged him with much gratitude. For whatever reason, this morning he passed away at home.
Yesterday, a close and sweet client of our for several years lost her father who we also had worked with and Dan sat with a number of times as this once brilliant, giving man would talk nonsense and make quizzical comments with laughter and Dan would laugh with him as if it all was well. A good man who loved his daughter, Tami, with his whole heart and adored her. She is lost in grief.
Please, dear Lord, let this three be the last for a long time. So much comfort is needed and as my sense of doom has lifted I beg for a lengthy reprieve.
Day of Accepting
Today was a bewildering day full of what if's and maybes peppered with should this be's. The kids are playing their various games oblivious to the plight of the elders.
This morning held lots of discussion and various scenarios. So far, Patriarch Bill has decided that on Tuesday they will remove his defibrillator. Then he will spend 6 weeks in a rehab center around people who could help him if his heart went south or stopped and they are capable of working on him. IF the infection goes away in that 6 weeks they will implant a pacemaker instead, keep him on lifetime antibiotics if the surgery goes well.
We are all buzzing. There are naysayers, hopefuls and those terrified of losing their dad. Who can know what is the right course? He no longer is active in the LDS Church and is in fact critical of the Church. He has no other religious affiliation and I fear for his bleak look into his life after death.
I pray over and over for his recovery. He doesn't seem to realize the many family member that look up to him and for him to help with his wisdom.
Please, dear Angels, whisper strong into Bill's ear and swim in his dreams; assure him of the right course of action. No matter what is, we all will be here.
This morning held lots of discussion and various scenarios. So far, Patriarch Bill has decided that on Tuesday they will remove his defibrillator. Then he will spend 6 weeks in a rehab center around people who could help him if his heart went south or stopped and they are capable of working on him. IF the infection goes away in that 6 weeks they will implant a pacemaker instead, keep him on lifetime antibiotics if the surgery goes well.
We are all buzzing. There are naysayers, hopefuls and those terrified of losing their dad. Who can know what is the right course? He no longer is active in the LDS Church and is in fact critical of the Church. He has no other religious affiliation and I fear for his bleak look into his life after death.
I pray over and over for his recovery. He doesn't seem to realize the many family member that look up to him and for him to help with his wisdom.
Please, dear Angels, whisper strong into Bill's ear and swim in his dreams; assure him of the right course of action. No matter what is, we all will be here.
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