What a great NASCAR shootout tonight! Large wrecks, drama as the teams learn the new rules and driving the altered cars. Kyle Busch is not one of my favorites but he certainly deserved the win tonight. It was fun to watch.
As soon as I get back on par I am going to be making some changes on the blog. It is old fashioned, doesn't have the music up right and I want it where it can get out more and get some comments in return. It's lonely having a blog all by yourself.
I will keep you informed how it goes. I feel good about it.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow pretty good. It will be the first time we have had to use the snow blower this year. Just hope people remember how to drive in snow, they forget as soon as the road gets covered.

Do you believe in ghosts or spirits? I suppose if I said I do, half of you (if there are any) would exit the post now. Life is a risk. Yes, I do but that is for another day. I will tell you of the two times I saw 2 distinct apparitions in my home about 15 years apart...such vivid dress and detail it's emblazoned in my mind.
Of all the things to be crazy about I must say I can barely tolerate the GEICO squealing pig commercials. I can't change the channel soon enough; that is not a good indicator of making a wise choice in selecting that to represent your company no matter how silly they like to be.
The Energizer Bunny ads weren't half as irritating. Which irritated you the most of the two?
On that happy note, goodnight.

It is 12:44 am, Utah time but I had to get back on briefly. Someone asked me tonight if I had listed my Bucket List. To those unaware, it is a list that some people create of things they want to do before they die. Now, first of all, what kind of person would ask me that? They are already assuming I am going to die from this and giving me no chance to take the tests and go for a cure. Bucket list? IF I were ever to feel the need, it would be more of a post-it-note list. I have lived through much, seen much in Japan during the Vietnam War...have little money but am without price when it comes to the worth of my husband, daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. I do not intend on receiving a death sentence with my ill health but even if I did I would have no list. I would want to spend all of my time with laughter, love and association with what brings me great joy.. my family. I don't care to climb mountains, be in airplanes, kayak down rapids or walk the ancient ruins. I thank the Lord for giving us people with the ambition,nerve and desire to go to the Amazon, the Nile, the Greek Ruins, the Galapagos Islands, the volcanoes, etc. I love watching their experiences and am grateful for them. Think... God has given us tens of thousands of people whose love is to film and share the wonders of the world with those who will never have the opportunity to see them. Thank you. I am content to live through your eyes.

They drew blood today to check the pancreas and liver. I now am scheduled for an endoscopy and a colonoscopy at the end of March. I am on the cancellation list to try and get it done sooner. The doctor that will do it has a great reputation. I've heard the medicine you have to drink is the worst part so I am not so afraid. Hah! Of course I say that now but how will I feel then?

I am getting anxious for NASCAR to start. I wish someone else in the family enjoyed watching it as much as I do. I record it when I can't watch it live, avoid the news then watch it later in the evening. I have a few favorite drivers and a couple I don't like but for the most part I enjoy all of them. I seldom watch the Indy races because it makes me so nervous. After seeing the crash and horrific death of Dan Whedon last year just reinforced it; even though the decision to race on that track should never have been made. Tragic.

Peace and Joy to the world.

Well, it is official. I am on a medical leave of absence from Target.Now it is time to get more work done and deal with what I have to do. I am certain I have to schedule an endoscopy and possibly a colonoscopy. Feeling sorry for me yet? (sigh) If you do...don't. There are always so many things that are worse. Tragedies are everywhere and I am grateful for to be where I am in life but could sure use a lottery win. This economy is harder on us than my health.
Today it snowed, rained and was sunny. You've got to love Utah.

Well, I see the doc Thurs but heard from 2 parties today it would be best to take a health leave of absence until I am thoroughly diagnosed and treated. They think there's other serious issues going on and specialized tests are needed. I need to decide within 2 days. Drats. I was wishing for much better news. Oh well, I will do what is best as I have a lot of living to do.
I am dying for NASCAR racing to begin. Funny, how I never watched it until 2001. I was very ill (wouldn't you know it) and couldn't get off the couch. It was the day Dale Earnhardt was killed in the crash and I watched it all for hours. I was hooked. I've barely missed a race; if I have to work I record it and watch it when I get home. It's amazing how fit and strong the drivers are, among the best of athletes.
I get frustrated with people who say who wants to watch cars go in left hand turns. They have no idea what goes into racing... and the dangers, the strategy... I love it.
I have a secret fear that these upcoming tests may show cancer. Please pray for good outcomes. I will, of course, keep you posted. You are the ones I tell... most is my secret from everyone.
The best is to keep focusing on tomorrow.

This is just a side note/request to feed my paranoia and fear of being alone. You don't have to make a comment or criticize, but if you think of it when it comes to comment, would you mind once in a while just posting a hello, or a I am here or a Hey. If not, that's okay. Loneliness is a ground I often step on.. minimal words would give me a more stable foundation. Love you.

I was unable to go to work but tonight went to my granddaughter's 5th grade school play which I wouldn't have missed for the world. She loves being on stage and that thrills me. I was on stage all through Jr and High School, my mom sang in local night clubs and my maternal grandmother sang on the Utah Stage. I was told my great grandmother also was a performer who knew the legend of those days, "Maud Adams". I wrote a play 10 years ago that was performed for the ward and then the stake (LDS). I want to submit it for roadshows.
Tomorrow is tax day and my already sick stomach is doing flip flops. I hate tax day. A few disasters in the past have made me totally paranoid every year. We've been so poor and had such a hard year, I fear for what they may want us to pay. Gees, I need a pill now, just to chill and try to sleep.

Today I was able to go to my daughter's performance at her church in a quartet singing, "Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing". It was great; I am biased but truthful. Very proud.
She just turned 40 and isn't happy about it; she looks 30.
Wish I could say more tonight, but things aren't feeling well so I am going to retreat early and simply rest. I am supposed to go to work tomorrow for the first time in a while... please wish me well.