My Christmas Miracle

I survived the Holidays. I got the presents bought and wrapped in time without a panic attack. I was surrounded with the light of the grand kids, watching my daughter sing a beautiful Christmas Duet from the pulpit in church and lost my depression somewhere in between the good things.
It's New Year's Day and I live it full of promise and hope.  After all, I had a Christmas Miracle.

My legs had been getting much worse, the pain at times was as close to unbearable as I ever want to be. I did much hidden crying and moaning, writhing in awful pain all night long. By then, my calves on each leg were worsening rapidly. I can only give this description:  Imagine keeping your legs stiff and holding onto something firmly. Then imagine someone with a 2" galvanized pipe slamming it into your calves full force or the worse charlie horse you've ever had but it never eases. I got to where I could barely lift my left foot much over an inch or so off the ground. I shuffled from room to room trying not to moan out loud with each step.  My days were filled with constant sitting, stirring, lying. tossing, dragging my feet.... I wish I could say I am exaggerating but I am not. There aren't enough words to fully describe it. All this was in addition to the pinched sciatic nerve which was slowly beginning to heal from the inflammation.

Then the Miracle began.  It certainly didn't seem to be a Miracle but a tragedy for me. For 12 yrs I have been taking a drug called Zetia to help me with dangerously high level of Triglycerides in my blood, so high, in fact, the doctor took a large blood sample and it was sent to several large clinics back East for study. They felt I should have had a stroke or heart attack at those levels... if you know what the highs are you will still be stunned to know mine were just over 2,000 and are now down to about 450 which is still high but great news for my situation.  I digress, Sorry, I tend to do that.

Zetia was always given to me through samples left with the doctor as they knew I could never afford the expensive drug and my case was so unusual. I think only once did I pay and it was apprx. $200 for a 30 day supply. Suddenly 3 weeks ago I called for my samples and heard there were none. They also said that due to the upcoming Obamacare, the Pharmaceutical Reps were no longer giving out as many samples and stopping some. Just like that. No Zetia. My natural drama had my mind racing that I would have a stroke and soon. Never miss a pill I was told all these years. I was terrified and now I can say this was a big part of my sudden depression.  There is no generic or similar medication.

So the days went by, my fear continued. I looked on the Internet about Zetia. I learned you are NOT supposed to be on it for long periods of time and you are NOT supposed to suddenly stop. Great!!
12 years and a sudden stop. I felt doomed and desolate.

Two days before Christmas I heard a noise out front the house early in the morning and hopped out of bed and hurried to the window. It wasn't important. There was the newspaper waiting for me and....
and "what the heck?" I had literally "hopped" out of bed and hurried with both legs lifting and knees bending to the window. I could walk. I giggled quietly and took steps to the left, turned and walked forward and backwards like a drunk I was. Giddy. The pain was in my knee but different; this time I could turn with my knee and not pivoting on my foot. My feet lifted a foot or more,,,,

Dan walked in then. I grabbed his hand. Look.  Watch this. I walked with pride from the kitchen to the window and back. He didn't say a word.  I raised my legs and touched my calves which before I could not let anything touch them. What happened, he asked?  It's  My Miracle. It is.still My Miracle. I can rest at night; I can sit longer periods, I shop at the store without a riding cart.

I later learned on several Web sites for people with horrific pain in the calf DUE TO ZETIA.  There were so many describing their pain and I cried as I read them. Someone else knew how tortuous it is and was.  They all related their trials to Zetia and the relief that eventually came after weeks without it. I've also heard there may be permanent damage to my calves but to feel this much better after over 2 1/2 months of pure agony... I will settle for that. 

Thanks for seeing this blog through, I know it is long. But I wanted to share My Christmas Miracle.