You have never left my mind, any of you, but life came charging with a vengeance that left a path of destruction and despair like I have never known. I am still weary, teary, confused and exhausted to write of it all. But for certain I will when I can type without sore fingertips, arms and my poor thumb joints. When I can sit without the sciatic nerve forcing me out of the chair within minutes. But above it all, when I can type without tears that blind and stop me before I can finish a sentence.
My brother called me a few weeks ago with terrible news. The cancer he fought so hard against thru experimental surgery and weeks of anxiety and recuperation came back with more than a vengeance. He called me crying and scared on the 21st of Feb. With chemo he would have 6 months, and without he had 2-3 months. He wanted to live and was so terrified of death.
We talked and talked. He decided to go with chemo to fill those extra weeks with life. He went in on Feb. 26th, to begin. He was optimistic. They gave him benadryl because in the past he had severe reactions to the chemo. Then, they administered the chemo and within moments he coded. They tried, at the Cancer Center to save him. Then the ambulance and short drive to the St. Mark's Hospital where they worked for over 20 min. before returning a pulse.
I was called and told to hurry as I was his power of attorney. I gave the order to not resuscitate or engage in any valiant efforts to save his life as were his wishes. He died within 7 minutes of shutting off the medicines. He died expecting to go home with Round 1 complete.
Within 30 min. they asked who the executor of his will was. It was me. Then began and continues the most difficult moments of my life. The irony? He died on the same day as our mother we loved so much.
So please be patient. I am buried in obligations of respectfully closing and finalizing his life.
