Well, I have done it. Pepper, my cat is gone and living with my daughter. She remains hidden under two beds back and forth but I hear she is purring a little. You see she was my daughter's cat for 8 years before I sort-of inherited her. I keep looking for her to swagger into the room, meow for food and attention. I see shadow figures. I am not lonely for her tonight, strangely. I am tired from crying and tired from changing all my bedding and cleaning out hairs from all the nooks and crannies. Oh I hope this will help me without all the dander.
There are two more wild strays out back at least. Where did they all come from and why now? I am inclined to think so many foreclosures left pets behind but I hope I am wrong.
Tomorrow is another day. Do you get over the loss of a pet? Nope! I will forever be in mourning for my dog Chewy. Pepper I was attached to... Chewy was family. Pooh! I know how empty I will be, how quiet and routine the home will be, how wishful I will be for someone to talk to through-out the day.
I have this stuffed animal I found a few weeks back with Chewy's eyes. I think perhaps he will join me somewhere in the frontroom until I can decide if my heart could take another breaking. Cats don't need you; dogs do. And isn't it a good feeling to be needed.
Good Night America!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Feb. 20, 2009
It has been one of those days..Started out catching a wild, gutteral, 500-pound black cat in a shelter trap this morning. We've been attacked with 3 times a night sexual cat-calls, fights, cans knocked over and the strongest pee ever peed under our back porch where I do laundry to a point I would have to spray Febreze to do a load of wash. One down and at least 3 to go. Got another one this evening that was smaller, cuter, deceivingly blue eyes and a streak of orange that makes you go "Ahhh" until it spits, growls and reminds you of the movie Pet Semetary. 2 to go.
Sadly, in 2 days my daughters 17 yr old cat (living with me for past10 yrs has to go now to her house as my allergies are thru the roof and her old age keeps making me cry. I hope she can adapt to a house with a dog and 2 perfect, well close to perfect grandkids. I will miss her but I also miss breathing and actually seeing out my eyes without swelling and tears.
I had to put down my 18 yr old Llasa Opso-Terrior mix 3 yrs ago due to severe injury. I still, look at me, cry easily just thinking of him. He was my companion, my friend, my toy, my soundboard and my guardian. I am afraid to ever try a dog again. But now, I am fearing the lonliness I will suffer when the cat is gone..she sort of got me thru losing my "Chewy". Ahh, economic crisis, stimulas package, politics be damned tonight! What am I to do?
Good night America!
It has been one of those days..Started out catching a wild, gutteral, 500-pound black cat in a shelter trap this morning. We've been attacked with 3 times a night sexual cat-calls, fights, cans knocked over and the strongest pee ever peed under our back porch where I do laundry to a point I would have to spray Febreze to do a load of wash. One down and at least 3 to go. Got another one this evening that was smaller, cuter, deceivingly blue eyes and a streak of orange that makes you go "Ahhh" until it spits, growls and reminds you of the movie Pet Semetary. 2 to go.
Sadly, in 2 days my daughters 17 yr old cat (living with me for past10 yrs has to go now to her house as my allergies are thru the roof and her old age keeps making me cry. I hope she can adapt to a house with a dog and 2 perfect, well close to perfect grandkids. I will miss her but I also miss breathing and actually seeing out my eyes without swelling and tears.
I had to put down my 18 yr old Llasa Opso-Terrior mix 3 yrs ago due to severe injury. I still, look at me, cry easily just thinking of him. He was my companion, my friend, my toy, my soundboard and my guardian. I am afraid to ever try a dog again. But now, I am fearing the lonliness I will suffer when the cat is gone..she sort of got me thru losing my "Chewy". Ahh, economic crisis, stimulas package, politics be damned tonight! What am I to do?
Good night America!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Feb. 18th, 2009
I am beating my self up for letting this much time pass me by without blogging. I regret so many times that I am not putting onto paper ( blog) what is in me, around me, of me. For me, I must do this more often. I keep too much inside, not wanting to burden or pest anyone but I have learned something recently but not too late. I am not a bad or irrelevent person.. I have words and ideas to offer to anyone who may read this and even if no one does. I have at least shared.
Remember Neil Diamond's "I Am I Said"? He was stating he was a man; he was. I am I said. There will be people who may read my words and say I am what she said.
Or, not! Haha!
It is late at night and I am satisfied that I have finally gotten back to this homeroom. Take care America and don't let this world pull you down. Together, we will be fine and make it back to our comfortable, personal space we have shaken at the moment. Good Night!
I am beating my self up for letting this much time pass me by without blogging. I regret so many times that I am not putting onto paper ( blog) what is in me, around me, of me. For me, I must do this more often. I keep too much inside, not wanting to burden or pest anyone but I have learned something recently but not too late. I am not a bad or irrelevent person.. I have words and ideas to offer to anyone who may read this and even if no one does. I have at least shared.
Remember Neil Diamond's "I Am I Said"? He was stating he was a man; he was. I am I said. There will be people who may read my words and say I am what she said.
Or, not! Haha!
It is late at night and I am satisfied that I have finally gotten back to this homeroom. Take care America and don't let this world pull you down. Together, we will be fine and make it back to our comfortable, personal space we have shaken at the moment. Good Night!
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