It was a Monday Friday

The day started going wrong at 3:00 am. Only asleep an hour I awoke with a start from a most vivid, frightening nightmare and found myself crying. It was an awful dream of the future with loved ones that I will firmly place in the past. Some dreams are just close enough to reality to be disturbing. Ok, a dream is a dream is a dream.

I got up early and foolishly engaged with a friend who asked for a response on a political issue. Shame on me. Don't I know that I don't know anything? Haven't I stepped into this trap before? Make a comment, put my foot in a door. Another friend suddenly encouraged my friend against me in the discussion; a friend, well, go back to my blog about friends, friendships and acquaintances. The friend was a friendship. I am sad.
Is it because I am me, or a female or what, that men will not allow me an opinion without rudeness or aggressive verbal volleys that I am not prepared for. I don't know exact quotes, paragraphs, article numbers, authors or years of implementation. I know from reading, listening, forming my opinions. When I get cornered for facts I retreat. I retreated today.

Should I have stood up and continued my beliefs? No, I could not. I will not stand against friends. I am sad that I can not feel able or comfortable just stating a simple opinion. Most of my life I've been told to shut up or be quiet, seen but not heard, that I was uneducated because I merely graduated high school. How could I know anything? As if my years on talk radio interviewing, reading the news stories the public never hears, seeing politicians behind the scenes, etc. meant nothing. Should I have said what I "really" know?  Nope, I just retreat and then burst into tears and want to shut my facebook down.

At my age I still not been able to firm my armour, rather I build walls.

I was wrong. I am wrong. I let a hurtful moment in the morning affect my entire day. I went to work with a heavy heart and a pout. Issues I normally overcame upset me. My patience was worn before I tried to practice it. Sitting here now it all seems so trivial.  Besides, I was right and he was wrong. ;)

Who needs a therapist when you have a  blog?  Thanks for use of your couch!

Channel Flipper's Day

Well, it ended up 3 hours in the dental chair on my birthday and I was right. The tooth they just worked on for a filling and crown needs a root canal in 2 weeks. I dare not comment further.

I was so proud of the Channel Flipper. He got through all his Prep Drink last night and beginning again at 4:30 this morning to finish without a hiccup. The colonoscopy went pretty good. They found 3 polyps and diagnosed him with diverticulosis which is a precurser to diverticulitis. They are pouches along the colon that can trap waste and weaken the lining, precipitating a break in the wall and contagion to the internal organs. He has to eat more fiber on a constant basis to avoid any worsening.
We were both concerned since he is 64 but barring any troubles he doesn't need to return for 5 yrs. He was amazed how easy and quick it was. Already today he has urged 2 friends to get it done. Yay.

My manly man came through.

Finally, Back

It has been frustrating not being able to blog or keep up with my facebook friends; to even play a few games that act as chill pills for me. Favorite games I love :  Zuma, Peggle ( my top 2), Words with Friends, Slotomania and Zuma Blitz on facebook. I used to play Bejeweled Blitz every day until my cataracts worsened. There's something about the color and explosions that nearly blind me and I can't refocus.  One day I'll get the surgery done.  I've talked to lots of people lately who've just had it done. Everyone say it is a piece of cake... if my insurance will cover it I think I will try to have it done soon.
It's a bummer when you can't read, see the computer screen well, can't drive after dusk and at work I have troubles reading codes on fruits and veggies because they are small and the overhead lights cause a nasty glare. This is one of my future... oh, make it near future, goals. Next, if I survive everything else, I am supposed to go to an Ear, Nose & Throat guy for the increasing choking before it truly does kill me and to check for a deviated septum. I have horrible times trying to sleep and stay asleep. Breathing doesn't come easy.  Lots on the plate.

Tomorrow is my birthday. First thing in the am, my daughter has to have an endoscopy for her severe acid reflux and make sure more serious things aren't going on.  I have to go back at 1:30 to my lovely dentist who just redid another mistake last week, to get one crown and prepped for another. One top of that, they'll love to know their last crown might have a cracked root under it...Placed 2 weeks ago I told them there was pain, they said it takes time. Well, I can't even eat a butter puff without pain so here we go again.

Yikes, I have rambled.Glad to be back to blogging.  You are my source of nighttime conversation and little secrets.

Oh! Tomorrow night, my Channel Flipper, after 14 yrs of refusal, will begin the preps and day after tomorrow will finally have a colonoscopy. My 4 polyps scared him....My manly man is a nervous wreck but it isn't that bad. I worry the results, he worries it is a woman doctor.  Men!  Lol.
Goodnight my friends.