It was a Monday Friday

The day started going wrong at 3:00 am. Only asleep an hour I awoke with a start from a most vivid, frightening nightmare and found myself crying. It was an awful dream of the future with loved ones that I will firmly place in the past. Some dreams are just close enough to reality to be disturbing. Ok, a dream is a dream is a dream.

I got up early and foolishly engaged with a friend who asked for a response on a political issue. Shame on me. Don't I know that I don't know anything? Haven't I stepped into this trap before? Make a comment, put my foot in a door. Another friend suddenly encouraged my friend against me in the discussion; a friend, well, go back to my blog about friends, friendships and acquaintances. The friend was a friendship. I am sad.
Is it because I am me, or a female or what, that men will not allow me an opinion without rudeness or aggressive verbal volleys that I am not prepared for. I don't know exact quotes, paragraphs, article numbers, authors or years of implementation. I know from reading, listening, forming my opinions. When I get cornered for facts I retreat. I retreated today.

Should I have stood up and continued my beliefs? No, I could not. I will not stand against friends. I am sad that I can not feel able or comfortable just stating a simple opinion. Most of my life I've been told to shut up or be quiet, seen but not heard, that I was uneducated because I merely graduated high school. How could I know anything? As if my years on talk radio interviewing, reading the news stories the public never hears, seeing politicians behind the scenes, etc. meant nothing. Should I have said what I "really" know?  Nope, I just retreat and then burst into tears and want to shut my facebook down.

At my age I still not been able to firm my armour, rather I build walls.

I was wrong. I am wrong. I let a hurtful moment in the morning affect my entire day. I went to work with a heavy heart and a pout. Issues I normally overcame upset me. My patience was worn before I tried to practice it. Sitting here now it all seems so trivial.  Besides, I was right and he was wrong. ;)

Who needs a therapist when you have a  blog?  Thanks for use of your couch!