Wow, I am behind on blogging. This getting out of the shell and moving forward is all good and fine until it gets to be too much. I need to pace what I am doing and where. My other blog site, Kathy-SimplyMe, is new and mostly poetry and short stories from life. I am having thoughts of someway to combine them.
This blog is a way for me to speak my mind and talk about things happening that I don't really tell other people, just you.
See, just talking to you I have made up my mind to keep this one just for these moments..
Thanks for being there.

I'm removing the duct tape that has wrapped my thoughts, my words, my adventures. What a genius, this inventor of duct tape. How could he have ever imagined the heights to which it would be taken? And it seems, everyday more ways to use it come forth. Today, after many, many years I choose to gingerly remove them and toss them into the bin of no return.Time to share..(gulp).
Since 7th grade when I began to rapidly grow tall I also developed the unique and uncontrollable episodes of clumsiness, trips, missteps, drops and breaks, gullibility and the start of my life's misadventures.
Though life has been difficult at times and you know a little of my health and distractions it is time to tell you of the real Kathy in her myriad of adventures and one day, God grant me the time and ability, to write what I've learned; and lived through so much it would be selfish not to share the ups and downs but so much laughter and joy and how so often I've landed on my feet..and my butt; but I always got up.
As you can see I am slowly getting braver on the blog and finding the who and why and how of me .
Read what you will...into it or from it.. but know this, It Is All True! I hope you will enjoy sharing my life of today and memories of yesterday...I Love Lucy had nothing on me. That's the truth!

Holy Crap! I can't believe how long it has been and all that has happened. Here's an abbreviation... I did not go to the reunion as I said BUT......the night before that I met with some of my high school friends at a local restaurant called HOPPER'S and we ate dinner and had a wonderful time...the next day after the reunion my husband and I met up with them at a bar called DAVID'S. Get this, THEN, the next afternoon we all met up Big Cottonwood Canyon and ate lunch at The Silver Fork Lodge and chatted up a storm. We all enjoyed it so much that we plan to get together more often and keep fresh the new bond we all formed. I have no regrets in passing up the reunion. I am so happy to have this. It was a dream weekend and will always be a happy memory.
The very next morning I had my gallbladder removed and made a speedy recovery. I am having some infections but nothing too serious. Two weeks ago my son in law Bob had to have a troubling hernia removed that they missed when they did the last colon surgery but he is mending well. We are certainly having our share this year. Abby has been stricken with her 2nd bout of Strep in 2 wks and 3rd sore throat in 3 wks. We are pretty certain her tonsils are going to have to come out..so far it hasn't triggered an asthma attack.
I am trying to hide my great fear of the H1N1 virus... not for me because I am in the safer range but for my family.. my 2 grandchildren had the rsv virus at 6 months and get sick quite easily. They've already had their flu shots but gosh, this scares me. The public will once again become alarmed when the cases start to shoot upwards. They've become complacent since the initial fears eased up.
Hopefully going to lunch again at HOPPERS this coming Wed with the high school gang. With Crohn's Disease you have no idea in advance if you can go anywhere or not but I am planning on it.
Have decided that I must give up my kitten, Bella. I don't know if it is because she is a Bombay or what but her wildness is difficult. She's beautiful and loving but gets pretty aggressive at times. I love her but it will be easier to give her up now than wait til I am too attached. Losing Pepper about did me in but that was different. Bella is such a beauty. This is such a hard decision..really, hard.

I went sailing.. I went sailing on The Great Salt Lake with my good friends from high school, Dave and Janet. Dave owns the boat, Wind Poet and I have not had such fun in a long time. I have never sailed and have never been out on the Great Salt Lake. The weather and waves were perfect. We talked forever about life 40 years ago and life today. In fact, some of us will be getting together again. But, I am still not going to the reunion. That would be too hard. I now know for certain I have to have gall bladder surgery on 8/24 and even tho the reunion is the 22nd my health isn't up to a day of food I can't eat, being in pain, tension and there are several people I want to live the rest of my life without seeing again. Mostly, as things are, I get sick on a dime and don't want to be a bother. I wish so badly I felt better..the timing just sucks. On a happier note, I hear a lot that having this will help me feel much better and I can get back to living more actively. That I'm excited for.

My daughter has eye surgery coming up soon. She has had lazy eyes since she was about 3 and she learned to control them but the muscles never fully strengthened. Now, as she is getting older her eyes get more tired from the work and stray so they are going to clip and tighten the muscles. It will take some time for her to get used to seeing without forcing her eyes to stay inward. Her dr. says she'll be off kilter a bit and we are joking each other about different things that could happen.
Bob, now also needs more surgery.. after the diverticulitis, he now has a hernia right there that the dr. missed on the initial xray. Boy, we are really having a bumpy patch, but on our way out. :)

What a week. Andrew turned 6 on Thurs and had his Transformer Birthday party on Saturday. He's been counting the days for 3 months. Being 6 is a real big deal for him. He's a sweetheart.
I am so excited! Tomorrow afternoon I get to go sailing on The Great Salt Lake for the first time in my life. An old high school friend has a sailboat and has offered myself and another classmate to join him tomorrow. I am scared, nervous, happy, on-air. We haven't seen each other in 40 yrs so it will be quite the adventure.
It is now or never for me I fear. But I want to build good memories. Mark (Dave) was such a good friend in school and it will be great to reminisce.
Wed. morning I go to the hospital early for the nuclear xray (Hide A Scan) to learn whether the gall bladder is working at the proper capacity and determine if the polyp and/or gallbladder needs to come out. Our fear is that with the cancer and chemo pills my immune system is so low that the chance of infection is of concern. Let's pray for the best. If it is any less, then we will face it with the same smile and optimism. Humor and joy, always the answer.

Recuperating from 2 mini-vacations. Took my daughter and grandkids for a drive Thursday. We drove up Parleys Canyon to Park City and walked along Main St. Then across the meadows and east to Heber City for a park lunch and down Provo Canyon to home. The kids have never been up the canyon and couldn't see enough. Boy, if they only knew what it was like just 15 yrs ago. Where meadows and farmlands, fishing streams and pioneer trails were are now subdivisions, homes on tops of every mtn around, roadside ads. Society is encroaching everywhere. It used to be impossible to get permits to build in these protected areas but sadly, money and power can get you what you want.
Anyway, yesterday was a ball. We decided on another road trip and drove over to the Oquirrh Mts and up the mountain to the Kennecott Copper Mine. I'm terrified of heights but once acclimated to the depth of the pit I gradually was able to walk to the fence and look over...TIGHTLY clinging to the safety bars. I can't remember if it's the largest or 2nd largest open pit copper mine in the world. Until you see it up close you just cant comprehend the massive expanse of it! It is a must see if you live here...and the tourists yesterday seemed from all over the world. The kids looked
to enjoy it so much we are going again real soon with PB&J sandwiches so we can take our time.
It is easy to overlook the wonderful sites we have here when they are so close. We are planning to take more mini excursions as my health is allowing. Everyday is a blessing, with family around me.
Here's to mini-excursions! :)

Good late evening! I am going thru many blood tests and ultrasounds. My doctor since 1975 has promised to get me well or managed to a point I can get back so much I've been missing. I believe it best to trust him. So as the results come in.. you lucky devils will be the first to know.
It's been a trying 2 weeks for my husband and I. First he found that his very best friend has inoperable stomach cancer and a few months to live, then last week one of my dearest friends from my radio station called from a local hospital. She snapped a bone in her hip & when they xrayed her at the ER they saw an abnormality. She has bone cancer through-out her body that has spread to her lungs. They gave her 6 months. 5 days ago we had a good conversation and we pray for a miracle. Tonight I called her and she could barely speak, because of her lungs and pain. Her life expectancy has lessened. It is happening so fast I can't wrap my brain around it. This year's garden was her best, she has so many plans. We lost 4 plumbing customers and 1 friend. All in 2 weeks. Our hearts are heavy and I will truly be lost with out my dear Rhonda Leigh. She is the one I call crying, pouring my heart out, I call laughing about nonsense, talking radio and making fun of hosts, sharing secrets. Selfishly, I will be lost without her. Not an ounce of shyness with her. Praying for miracles my friend. I love you.

As my old high school friends have been meeting up on Face book life has become more fun for me. I don't feel as isolated and shy. Mostly my friends were neighbors or a few ward members and I had little at all to say. Now my best lost friend Dave (Mark) from high school found me on Classmates a few weeks ago and my life is changing for the better." If you could read my mind now, what a tale my thoughts could tell. Just like a paperback novel, the kinds the drugstores sell"~Jim Croce. Other friends are joining up and like a jigsaw puzzle we are coming together around this Face book Table slowly chatting, sharing and becoming those characters we lived and loved in spite of the grownup characters we have become.
Of course with high school there are those who treated you unkindly, cut you out of their "clicks" and some who would not even look you in the face between classes.They judged your status or station without even trying to learn who you were. Some of these have now shown up and will on yours, Just remember to hold your head high and enjoy the true friendships you had and now found again.
Let yourself enjoy these simple pleasures.

Hi.Not enough time in the day today. Had to run errands for my granddaughter's birthday party and baptism family get-together later tomorrow. In the middle I had to stop and have my narrow-band light therapy. Unfortunately the new girl punched in the wrong length of time and I burned pretty good all 360 degrees of me. Yes, a tad uncomfortable in clothes tonight. As usual when this happens I will suffer a lot tomorrow but kazam! the pain dies after about 24-36 hrs.



Thinking about politics again. There is a gentleman who is our state Attorney General ( he adores the spotlight and photo-ops of his own making) and he recently decided to run for State Senate against our quite old Bob Bennett. I used to talk to Bob when I was on radio. He is so tall and skinny I always imagined a long walking-stick as he pulled himself out of the chair. Until recently I felt he had been in too long,, still do but I am having some uncomfortable doubts about the AG Mark Shurtleff. I watch him closely and he has already begun a somewhat braggart campaign on Twitter and Facebook. His persona is changing, his arrogance that was once a little complimentary is becoming distracting.
At this moment, I would vote for Jason Chaffetz over Mark...Heaven forbid, maybe even for Bob over Mark. I want to feel I can trust whomever it is. Utah is in dire need to have fresh, KNOWLEDGEABLE, honest and constituent-obligated people in Washington DC.I do my own thinking & don't need a party to tell me what to do. I vote for the person and the issue. Only people who can't think for themselves vote straight party line. It breeds hate with no room for compromise.
Anyway, I have a big decision coming up shortly that could cause me pain or great joy. It could cause a blow to my self-esteem or it could give me memories and laughter . School reunion...the dreaded occasion of seeing those who teased or ignored you amongst those you loved and have never forgotten. Trying to work things out with my dearest of old friends that won't be so difficult. Praying a lot for the right thing. Afraid I am already frustrating my friends. But if I meet them I want it fun, perfect and something to always remember with joy.

The results are finally in... no cirhossis or malignancy in the liver but there is inflammation. My doctor for the Lyp says it is not severe enough to interfere with the methotrexate and to keep taking them. As much as I fear the toxins in the drug I know how much they have helped me since I was first diagnosed with this disease. It makes you a hermit, fearful of stares and cruel words. The light treatments every week and the pills have cured the outside of me to where I'm not as afraid to go out. I used to have pale light skin, then pale skin that started to get small sores and rashes, then tanned skin with lots of freckles and far less noticeable spots. It took 10 years to get to this point and the thought of it all coming back put me into a very dark place. There is no cure, I will die with it, hopefully not from it.It is an extremely rare skin cancer that is a form of Lymphoma... not Melanoma. Only 1 in 1.9 million people get this. At anytime it could turn into full blown Lymphoma but then anyone at anytime could get full blown Lymphoma.
Now, my internist needs to find out what's causing the inflammation internally, its not just the liver but I have far less fear of this. The fact I can now finally give myself Insulin for Diabetes is a huge feat for me. Other issues become just a part of life that you accept and thank God that things are not worse and pray for those whose life is. We all have challenges at one time or another. It is how we choose to deal with them that is important. This was my hardest post so far.

I am down to 5 marigolds. Neighbors have 3 new gopher holes..we think that makes 18 now. The constant rain has diminished the other 15 but they are there. I've spent too much money; let Sandy Ordinance come out and issue them yet another advisory to keep up their yard. They have 2 wks & then the City does it and charges them. Yet they always wait for 13 days and use a weed whacker to chop the 3 ft weeds on their lawn they never water and wait til they get summoned again. It makes me sad. I work so hard for my yard and since they moved in I cant keep up with t he dandelions, gophers and ugly site. Those plastic fences are great but expensive. OH well, will just keep working on it.
My last foster mother I called Aunt Alberta kept me from the age of 12 1/2 until I married at 20 and we remained as close as a mother and daughter. She passed away in 2004 at 93 and sharp as ever. She was from New Ulm, Minn, German heritage and a good cook. I've decided to start typing
her recipes every few days or so. Some are German, some are just darn good. Some have those famous Mormon recipes that are fabulous comfort food as well as good for sharing with your neighbors or families on get-togethers.
See, I am taking positive steps to get out of my shell. I will have a link for my writing blog soon also. I am doing the dream, if only for me.

I had such a good birthday. My daughter and granddaughter took me out to garage sales most of the day, finding gadgets and trinkets..mostly, we thoroughly enjoyed the pleasure of our company. Husband was in Idaho so the kids took me out to dinner..and I came home to 3 balloons , a bag of candy and a bar of Lilac soap. The day ended with Facebook, Twitter and mellow reflections.



Today is just a quiet day. After watching NASCAR I have spent time puttering at various chores in a futile attempt to ward off the worry of tomorrows biopsy results. My heart has been broken enough times that trusting it doesn't come easy and yet it is telling me I will be okay. There I go again... whoosh.. negative thoughts be gone!

Oh my. Things have been nuts but that is my life. June 23rd I had a liver biopsy and am still waiting for the results. The radiologist said it was dense but that was all he could say. It could be from fatty tissue, diabetes or fibers. We don't want it to be fibers as that would mean I may need a new liver down the road.. but I won't let my brain wrap around that.

The marigold mystery is on. I was told marigolds distract aphids and gophers so I got a flat of them and planted them between my property and nextdoor neighbors who don't do yardwork at all and had 15 gopher holes last fall. We have lost 3/4 of the flowers to the gophers now so we are trying everything we can.

I really need to commit to another blog where I write what I have written. Actually a lot depends on the results of that darn biopsy. I am on hold in bizarro world.

I have been slacking again.. but only because a busy life has interfered. My new kitten, Bella, is a Bombay they tell me. She has short sleek, non shedding hair with gold (seriously) eyes. She was bottle fed so is very affectionate and finds my shoulder and under my neck her favorite places to snooze. So far she is my miracle kitten.
My dr. decided to decrease my methotrexate to see what happens. It has been two weeks now and I am having more breakouts, allergy attacks, so I have to call him. They still haven't scheduled the livery biopsy so I have to call in the am. If it is ok, hopefully I can resume my normal dosage. .
Have you heard of the card game "Screw Your Neighbor"? It is so fun. The weird things is my 8 yr old granddaughter has been wooping us 3 out of 4 games. It's a real fun game and if any of you are interested just ask as it is super simple to learn.
Sorry this is short. It is late at night. Life has been mild lately.

I have my granddaughter sleeping over tonight. She'll turn 8 in July. When I see her lately and all the changes I keep thinking of the Mike Douglas song (aging myself here) "Turn Around" " Where are you going, my little one, little one, where are you going my baby my own. Turn around and you're one, turn around and you're grown, turn around and you're a young girl going out on your own.".. I must find that song to download. Used to have the 45 record (aging again, lol). I just remembered another song I miss that I played over and over: "Dreams of the Everyday Housewife" sung by Glen Campbell. Ha, misty-eyed I am. There are certain things that have no place staying in the past...things that made you smile, feel safe, laugh outloud, your heart race and take your breath away are but a few. Your present is greatly a result of what your past was, your temperment or lack of, your tolerance or lack of, your fears or lack of fear, the words you heard or did not hear..So many parents still don't get it. They are so self-absorbed and waste the grand opportunity they have to help create a better world.

Didn't mean for so much time to go by. It is not that I haven't had anything to say but that I have had too much going on to say it. Now that made no sense. Oh well, such is who I am. Bob is doing well and soon back to work. Tomorrow I have to schedule a liver biopsy for how long I have been taking Methotrexate as it is a toxin and harmful to the liver. Blood tests can only tell you so much; only a biopsy can show if you have no fibers or disease. Fun, huh? It's been 10 yrs on the stuff so doctors say it is time.
I have agoraphobia (thank you early foster homes) and it can be limiting but gratefully I don't have it severe. Now, if you put me (sole adult) in a room with more than 2 children at a time I can guarantee you I will have a panic attack and back into the corner. I go long ways around in a grocery store to avoid aisles that have more than 2 carts on them and can't wait in the middle of a line. Well, I can but my heart races and I get shakey. Some people cannot even go out to shop. Unless you have it or know someone who does it is difficult to be empathetic. Anyway, that is one of my phobias. Enough revelation for now. :)
I am looking into doing some podcasts. I really miss doing my radio talk show... will keep you updated on that. Thanks Roscoe for your advise.

Bob is doing better today but lots of pain. Hopefully he can come home Thursday. Since there were complications they want to be certain there are no infections.
Moment of terror today. I was sitting first car at a red light when I looked up to see a large car pull into my lane of traffic heading directly at me. I had nowhere to go. As the car got deadly close I started to throw myself onto the seat to lessen my injuries when he swerved, skidded and tore up the street adjacent to me. That was as close to a head-on as one can get without being in one and I never, ever want to be that close and helpless again. It has been hours but my stomach is still in knots and my GRATITUDE is overwhelming. Divine Intervention. Totally.

Busy day today. Hoping marigolds will keep the next door neighbors gophers away. It took us all year last year to get them out of our yard and they are marching back ,the little buggars.

It has been too long since I have posted but too many things have had to come first. Yesterday my son-in-law, 47, was operated on for severe diverticulitis. They had to remove 18" of intestines and his gall bladder. There were some complications but at the moment he is allright. Watched the 2 grandkids today, Abby and Andrew and again tomorrow. Hope he recovers well. It was an intense surgery and he will learn he is not Superman and it will take time to heal. I love him.
I am integrating Twitter with my blogs. You know how much I want to get more back into my writing and I think this is finally it. It will take a few days and attempts to iron out the kinks so one can lead to the other.
Writing is my passion and I can't wait to share some of it with you. I need to learn how I can separate my blogs with segments of my writing. I am reading other blogs to learn a technique that is a right fit for me.
I heard I can link my Facebook also. Here I go thinking out loud again.

It is another sad story, I am afraid. We went and got the sweet puppy and drove it home bonding and loving. That night my husband instantly fell for the puppy. However by early evening I was beginning to have itchy eyes, welts on my chest where his head was. Needless to say it got worse all night long. I could not sleep at all as eyes were horribly swollen, painful itching, nose running and sneezing. By 8 am I called and we made the long return trip to take the puppy back. Boy I am still amazed how much I cried. It was the cutest thing and I had happiness and comfort in my heart that all would be well.
I heard poodles are the best. My son-in-law is having major surgury for diverticulitis on the 13th of May so life is going to be very hectic for a while. May be when he is healed and back to work I can try this again, I don't know. I wish I had enough money to afford the shots so I could have any type of dog or cat but...wishing doesn't cut it for now.
SOrry this is short, I know no one reads this but I felt obligated to finish the story.
Goodnight all.