Good news! My son-in-law did not lose his job today. They laid off about 70 people and thankfully he was not one. Talk about pins and needles. ............... (30 min later) Good Gosh. Someone just banged on my front door yelling for me to call 911 and that her friend had fainted and was unconscious. She was across the street from my driveway. I ran over calling 911 and with their instructions helped her until the ambulance came. She went from coma-like to semi-conscious when they took her away. I pray for her. That was enough trauma to last a long time. I could feel her slipping away, I can only hope she will be alright. She was 24 and her name was Amber. That was all I could learn. She and her friend were door to door salesgirls . Their boss showed up and hustled the friend into his work van and they left. He better damn well show up at the hospital. She is not from Utah and has no one. It took such a long time for the ambulance I was getting hell fire mad cause she was slipping. Oh man, I don't want to type about it anymore. I need to just sit here and breathe and be grateful. You just never know what is going to happen at any given moment.

It was a good day. Had the kids over for Easter Eggs since they had to go to the other family yesterday. I think it was almost more fun for us hiding the eggs and watching them race to find them. Now days you need to find joy in the small things. Big time life is so full of stress, fear and uncertainty. My son-in-law may lose his job Wed. morning and we are sweating bullets. He just came down with severe diverticulitis, daughter has bad asthma and son has propensity to chest colds and pneumonia. We are all praying really hard.
Our plumbing business has picked up a little, subsiding the terror when the phone does not ring. All you can do is keep a positive attitude or you will crumple your family and your sense of worth. Sometimes you have to adjust or readjust your life but you do what you must to keep the family on firm ground. Pride sometimes needs to take a back seat for a while. God Bless Everyone affected adversely in this crisis..
It has been a long day. Good Night Everyone.

It was a quiet day today. Enjoyed Nascar and a trilogy of Glenn Close, Christopher Walken films beginning with Sarah: Plain and Tall. Followed the years, 1910, 1912 and 1918 I think. They were refreshing and people need to be reminded what life was like back then and the hardships. We are so incredibly spoiled and kids show no appreciation for how life was even 20 years ago. I worry about this selfish generation that expects to be given by everyone. One day soon they will have a different world for which they aren't prepared.
I am still lost without a pet. I wish someone read this post with an opinion.. but I think I am talking alone in a tunnel. An orange tabby I hear makes a good lap cat.
Oh well, tonight I am more focused on Christ and the resurrection. I feel like a complaining fool when I think of all that He suffered and in silence and alone.
Good night everyone. Happy Easter! Remember Christ today inspite of the eggs and candy.
Love you all.

Can breathe a little easier tonight. Been pretty darn sick..now just a little sick. I am happy with that.I lost a good friend last Monday. You know how it feels when you hear someone died and then you hear the name and, Good Lord, that one NOT the name you expected. That was Coleen..with just one "l".She was this incredible artist,,oils, water color, pencil, crafts and then I believe in her early 20's got smacked hard with rheumatoid arthritis in her hands. She spent over 30 years fighting the pain, trying the studies, smiling with optimism always..even 2 days before her death she told her husband, "I am still fighting." But Monday someone said, Enough and she stopped. I will miss her.

I am trying to figure how to link this from Twitter. I think it is possible.

Good night everyone.

I am too tired to write much tonight. I am a blob companion. I am sick of having diabetes, high cholesterol, triglycerides and low-grade Lymphomatic skin cancer (Lymphomatoid Papulosis) amongst other things. My kidney is now infected and the pain is incredible. There, I said it...well, most of it but enough for maybe someone out there to say, "Hey, Iknow what that crap feels like and it sucks."
If you're like me y ou do your best to pretend y ou feel fine...you learn to walk with very little sign of a limp from your feet that sting, burn, go dead, or throb when you walk, sit or raise them up. Your heart races at times and you wonder is this the time it has affected your heart? Is this the plaque you try to avoid with statins? OR is this the stress you didn't get a handle on?
Oh, pooh!!
Just ignore this rant. I needed to release it. In an hour I will have it under my mental control and locked away in this small room in my brain that is only for these moments. My daughter, husband and grandchildren need me to be laughing, with them, playing and being all I can without them having to say, What is wrong Grandma?
I so love living that the pain is ok to deal with.... BUT I think I am allowed to have these moments in the middle of the night. I want to get well enough to be the writer I wanted to be since I was about 10 years old.. I WILL reach a stable condition and I WILL do what I have always dreamed. Dreams do come true, right?

It is been a bumpy ride this week. Sick grandchildren, sick me, tooth infection for my husband,and the economy, smog, lying politicians and Daylight Savings Time has all of us a little dragged down.
We have a racist, homophobe with illusions of self-grandeur in our Legislature here in Utah... I refer to him as the racist, homophobe conceited, arrogant, public- be- damned fool who is a total embarrassment and PROOF of the need for term limits...along with Bennett and Hatch especially. There is NO VALID EXCUSE for ANY Senator to be in more than 2 terms. That is one of the things wrong with the country that can easily be eliminated. Imagine that! Fresh faces and ideas every 2 terms. What a novel idea. Why isn't it happening? Because most of the Congress is WAY over the hill and they love the benefits..they are going to hold fast DESPITE the drag and drain on the taxpayers. Remember the days when representatives said they were there for their constituients? Lasts about 60 days after they are elected and then they become power hungry , tax-evasive, morally corrupt, bought and paid for puppets. Sure makes me feel warm and fuzzy. How about you?

I decided to get a kitten about to be born in a couple of weeks but my husband finally admitted tonight that he truly did not want a cat. If I need a companion and it has to be alive.. he wants it to be a dog even tho they are more work. Doggy doors, hair cuts, baths, boarding.... but I think if we find something even close to our only dog Chewy we would buy one. I get heart palpitations thinking of the devastation that overwhelmed both of us when we had to put him down. We swore we could not go through that pain again and then I remember the total joy and fun we had with him. The drama continues... it will have to be a perfect dog however, we already had the perfect one. Ohhhh, only people whose animals truly are their family understand the caution and need to get the right one.. tho how could any other quite measure up. You need to accept the new dog as a new per son with his own soul and per sonality. Wish me luck, people.
However, this time I want a female as I understand they are more mellow after their sex organs are removed. My Chewey continued to have sometimes outrageous sex with a pink elephant we won at Lagoon for many years. Who knew? None of us for over 15 yrs were allowed to touch or move his "object of affection".
Take heart America. Those of you who believe in God know He will not allow the world to be destroyed or so horribly discombobulated via the greedy, stupidity, selfish, thoughtless, foolish deeds of men with a waiting room in Hell. Their punishment will be more intense and eternal than anything we could hope to slap them with here on Earth. Thank you God, they are all yours. Give us the courage and strength to lift our hearts up and remember you truly are ou r Savior now as always. Good Night America!!

I have finally caved in and joined Facebook at my daughter's urging. I thought I was shy in public but even more so on this new social forum. I am gradually being found by classmates from my senior year of high school in 1968 and some friends and neighbors. Mostly people don't post that much.... it's not like a chat room, tho I hear they are available. It is fun to watch the posts of your friends and get a glimpse into their lives. There are not so difficult games of all varieties to play, virtual gardens and farms to grow..there is always danger of giving out too much info but that is true everywhere. It will be interesting to see how far this will take me but it is quiet fun at night at the end of a harried day.
A dopehead called Sen Valentine here in Utah has introduced a law to be considered that would force ALL restaurants that serve mixed drinks to erect a 10 foot wall or seperate room to keep the children from actually seeing the drinks get mixed. It is okay to see the drinks on the table but heaven forbid they see it being poured into a glass. This guy is a moron!!! Most of the restaurants could not afford the cost of remodel....what thought-process goes on in the small area of his mind. Why do so many of these legislators try so damn hard to come up with more and more ways to make us average folk look like idiots???
Utah has so much beautiful scenery, fun places to go, friendly and courteous citizens....BUT some perverted politicians every single year try to screw it all up. My solution??? Vote every single one of them out and start fresh. Show them we are sick of it and we will not continue to re-elect the same ridiculous mental midgets and dinosaurs anymore. Just a thought.

We took the grandkids to a Safety Fair Friday and I was impressed with all the booths that gave the kids something to do while the parents and grandparents gathered great information..from Poison Control to Seat Belts, to sitting in police and fire vehicles, ATVs, motorcycles, how much pills look like candy (scarey), small, scarey heliocopters, zero fatalities in several great buckle up programs. I had the grandkids in the cars that collide at 5 mph while buckled up to show the intensity of a low mileage collision. Unfortunately, Andrew, my 5 1/2 yr old grandson found that as fun as Lagoon (adventure park). IT took some time to explain the danger and need for seatbelts... freebies were small key chain lights, lip balm, bumper stickers, pads and pens and the Wonderful card all ready for you to write down the license number, car and driver description of aggressive drivers, drivers of cars that spew thick black smoke. The cops will take it over from there and talk to the owners... you aren't sending them a ticket so don't get all hyped up about the ol' Big Brother Thing! They simply check their car for illegal and dangerous emmissions and have them get fixed. If they try to run you over via texting, calls, drinking or being aggressive and stupid you get them a talking to. Now , tell me, what is so wrong with that? You save your lives, theirs and their families and other innocents on the road. If you feel threatened then be SMART.... do NOT text, mellow out and drive like you want to live another day.That's not Big Brother, that is Saving Lives . By the way, I hate Big Brother.... in every single area BUT driving.
I didn't mean to lecture but this past week has had some very close calls while my grandkids were in the car and every single incident involved the cell phone, texting and driving like rules, respect and safety were of no signifigance. Please, think while you drive. Good Night America!

The house is so empty except for the walls when I bump into them or the rug when I trip over it. I say, Oh Sorry to inanimate objects and mumble to a stuffed animal that looks a little like my deceased dog Chewy. Thinking seriously that I need a kitten before I totally melt down.
We have a lunatic in office here called Chris Buttars who says that homosexuals are worse than terrorists in this country, It terrifies me that so many "sheeple" in this state agree with him... not to his lunatic comments...but they gleam from it that marriage is between man and woman. They seem to overlook his radical, disgusting views that all homosexuals are perverts and a threat t o our country. His closed minded, arrogant, dont give a damn how anyone feels attitude is the true threat to a working society. I believe some gays are that way simply by social choice. but I know thru a couple family members and in-law child that some ARE BORN that way and display those tendencies in youth (prior to age 6) WITHOUT outside influence so screw you self- appointed judges!! You simply CANNOT lump everyone to gether. Get a life! Get a pet!

It has been days since Pepper passed away and I am still thinking she is here. It will take time to fully realize she truly is gone. Thank you for letting me mourn her.
My husband and daughter want me to find a short hair orange tabby as they are supposed to be more mellow and loving. A female is desireable if I can summon the courage to do this again. You know I buried several cats over the past 20 years but they were all killed by cars or in infancy by their father tom cat. Somehow it is different burying a cat from unexpected death than having them a lifetime and having to choose to end their life. Whoa, I have got to move on. IF I can do this, I think I want a short hair (cause of my allergies) orange tabby (female). Unless I am wrong, I heard they are calmer, cuddly and stay home and are more companion-like. If you know different I would like to hear from you. I am so darn lonely tho I need to make a decision soon.

Salt Lake is getting a little crazy right now with the Legislature in session and everyone wanting to be a hero with a stellar bill to pass. Actually, they make such fools of themselves. No one really wants to tackle real issues... they all want their name on a bill. Heaven forbid they actually try to accomplish something without their name on it. Well, it is very late. Good Night America!

I can't believe it is this soon that Pepper is dead. She became very sick all night long at my daughter's and could not eat so she took her to the Vet. The vet said most cats don't live as long as she did and that she was sick. In a quick instant and thankfully with no fear, she was given a little stick and died. Now my sorrow is greater but wrapped with a gratefulness she is not suffering. I see her everywhere and thought I heard her purring a while ago. She would lay on the computer tower to be with me..
This will be a short blog for me tonight. Good night America.

Well, I have done it. Pepper, my cat is gone and living with my daughter. She remains hidden under two beds back and forth but I hear she is purring a little. You see she was my daughter's cat for 8 years before I sort-of inherited her. I keep looking for her to swagger into the room, meow for food and attention. I see shadow figures. I am not lonely for her tonight, strangely. I am tired from crying and tired from changing all my bedding and cleaning out hairs from all the nooks and crannies. Oh I hope this will help me without all the dander.
There are two more wild strays out back at least. Where did they all come from and why now? I am inclined to think so many foreclosures left pets behind but I hope I am wrong.
Tomorrow is another day. Do you get over the loss of a pet? Nope! I will forever be in mourning for my dog Chewy. Pepper I was attached to... Chewy was family. Pooh! I know how empty I will be, how quiet and routine the home will be, how wishful I will be for someone to talk to through-out the day.
I have this stuffed animal I found a few weeks back with Chewy's eyes. I think perhaps he will join me somewhere in the frontroom until I can decide if my heart could take another breaking. Cats don't need you; dogs do. And isn't it a good feeling to be needed.
Good Night America!

Feb. 20, 2009
It has been one of those days..Started out catching a wild, gutteral, 500-pound black cat in a shelter trap this morning. We've been attacked with 3 times a night sexual cat-calls, fights, cans knocked over and the strongest pee ever peed under our back porch where I do laundry to a point I would have to spray Febreze to do a load of wash. One down and at least 3 to go. Got another one this evening that was smaller, cuter, deceivingly blue eyes and a streak of orange that makes you go "Ahhh" until it spits, growls and reminds you of the movie Pet Semetary. 2 to go.
Sadly, in 2 days my daughters 17 yr old cat (living with me for past10 yrs has to go now to her house as my allergies are thru the roof and her old age keeps making me cry. I hope she can adapt to a house with a dog and 2 perfect, well close to perfect grandkids. I will miss her but I also miss breathing and actually seeing out my eyes without swelling and tears.
I had to put down my 18 yr old Llasa Opso-Terrior mix 3 yrs ago due to severe injury. I still, look at me, cry easily just thinking of him. He was my companion, my friend, my toy, my soundboard and my guardian. I am afraid to ever try a dog again. But now, I am fearing the lonliness I will suffer when the cat is gone..she sort of got me thru losing my "Chewy". Ahh, economic crisis, stimulas package, politics be damned tonight! What am I to do?
Good night America!

Feb. 18th, 2009
I am beating my self up for letting this much time pass me by without blogging. I regret so many times that I am not putting onto paper ( blog) what is in me, around me, of me. For me, I must do this more often. I keep too much inside, not wanting to burden or pest anyone but I have learned something recently but not too late. I am not a bad or irrelevent person.. I have words and ideas to offer to anyone who may read this and even if no one does. I have at least shared.
Remember Neil Diamond's "I Am I Said"? He was stating he was a man; he was. I am I said. There will be people who may read my words and say I am what she said.
Or, not! Haha!
It is late at night and I am satisfied that I have finally gotten back to this homeroom. Take care America and don't let this world pull you down. Together, we will be fine and make it back to our comfortable, personal space we have shaken at the moment. Good Night!

November 13, 2007
I can't believe how long it has been since I posted last. So much life in so little time....I think I can exhale for awhile..Salt Lake; Salt City, Utah! Good grief it gets so annoying. We just had our (in-between) elections for SLC mayor and other small towns. Getting rid of Rocky Anderson is a very good thing, finally. But his predecessor "Becker" seems like the spittin' image and off-center mind set. I take little solace in that it was a tight race with the opponent "Buhler". I liked Buhler but he looked and talked too much like somebody's favorite Uncle. Somebody's uncle would still have been better than the eager-beaver to change all that is Salt Lake City and make it "HIS" vision. Blgh!!!!
If anything it will be interesting to see how quickly he does something stupid or raises eyebrows.
Another day. Kathy

I need to correct the spelling: Lymphomotoid Papulosis

Well it has been a long time. I have since spent the last 2 1/2 months helping my daughter and her baby move into their new little home in Reedsport, Oregon and thank the good Lord they are coming back in September. Seems the boss offering the job to Bob HIGHLY understated the job details, insurance, vacations, sick days, etc. The place is astonishingly beautiful but unbelievabley high priced and a dying tourist town. We are refixing the basement so they will have somewhere to live when they return as they are coming back broke and no job but it wasn't their fault. I told them to think of it as their strange Oregon vacation and that oneday they will laugh at it all. (well, that may be a stretch).
Does anybody read this dribble? How do you know if they do? hmmmm

Things change. My daughter got married on April1, 2002...always wanted to marry on aholiday and that was the most convenient since 3,000 things interfered with the March 1st date. She and her husband a my only grandchild are moving in 10 days to Reedsport Oregon where her husband had a good job offer working on fishing boats, repairing and building them. If he doesn't like it or they don't like him (I am hoping for both secretly) they will move back in 6 months or so.
I am terrified of traveling but moms have to pretend to be brave so I have been nominated to ride in the car with my daughter who injured her foot and the baby behind Bob and the huge rental truck.
First we are going to Reno and Carson City, Nevada for 2 days then up the coast to Oregon.

Well, Feb 19th just ended and I am still in December state of mind. Melanie is now getting married on Mar 1st at the county court house. I just want her to do what will make her happy. The Olympics have been going pretty good this past week. I listen to a police scanner often because I used to be a dispatcher, know some of the cops and firemen and can't quite get it out of my system. There are more things going on than the news tells you which frustrates me. Hell, it is my city, don't I have a right to know what is happening here? There has been almost NO news about local issues, fires, accidents, etc.and yet on the scanner I hear a myriad a calls from shots fired, an officer attacked, fatal accidents, attempted homocides, felony stops...I guess the "suits" want everything to appear normal. They must think we panic easy. Hey, we come from hardy stock of people who were highly persecuted and murdered just because of their religion. I think we can handle the news just fine.